— Pierre Boulez, “Second Piano Sonata”
Tonight I’ll be your naughty girl. I’m callin’ all my girls. See you look me up and down, and I came to party.
— Beyoncé, “Naughty Girl”
From sad-cannibal-noises, this is for anyone who wants everyone who fights oppressive power structures to “just get along”:
Offensive things aren’t offensive merely because they hurt feelings - they’re offensive because they contribute to the societal harm of marginalized groups. The end goal isn’t to get everyone to love each other, it’s to destroy power imbalances.
This is a dom in Greater Boston who refused to accept my no and tried to gaslight me. I told him that his advances would not be welcome but he still approached me. I said that I don’t have to justify the no but he said that I was reading too much into what he said. He wanted to reframe the conversation: It’s not a man who can’t take no but a woman who’s too hostile to take an innocent inquiry. This is gaslighting. This man gaslights women.
Some snooping reveals that he is also active in Providence. I wish I knew his FetLife profile, so I can alert people to who he is there, too.
For the curious, this is what I linked.
You must must must submit this to http://straightwhiteboystexting.tumblr.com/
I’m very tempted but I’d like to keep the record here. My OKCupid profile links to the ever-growing thread of harassment, and I like letting people know that their behavior is not going unnoticed. Many guys back off once they realize that people will see what they say. I’ve even had someone say that he didn’t send me that gross racist message because his account was hacked, and asked me if I could remove the post. (I didn’t.)