If I ever got one of these trophy rings, there will be so little silver left, it will look like a wedding ring.
Never going to get one, but I still want it anyway for the novelty.
(via Boinkology)
Me: There’s an art to cunnilingus just as there is an art to fellatio. Reed players are especially good at it.
Byrnes: What? They don’t even use their tongues that much. It’s all about the brass.
Me: When’s the last time you played?
Byrnes: Baby, that’s one skill that never goes away.
Byrnes: I think we took out the Internet with our sex.
Demetrus: Listen, man. I was in Cambridge, and I saw this girl in a white dress coming out of the Harvard T Station. The way she walked into Harvard Square, she looked like she owned the fucking place.
Byrnes: That’s my Amber!
(via the rut)
Nine years later, JibJab still has it.
(via all that glitters)
Me: At this age, I’m already over the hill.
Mom: Really? But you’re so young.
Me: Yes. I’m in my most fertile years. I should already be having kids by now.
Alex: Twenty is about the right age.
Mom: So human fertility doesn’t look like t-distribution.
Dad: No. It’s more like chi-squared.
Byrnes: You just randomly flipped to only being on Yahoo.
Me: Wireless. But I think it’s the encryption really. The network was free for a while, and everything was fine. Then Dad put encryption back on.
Byrnes: Well turn the damn encryption off! Seriously. Who’s gonna steal your wifi?!
Me: The deer. [...]
Mom: Alex wants to go to graduate school for neuropsychology but he doesn’t know where to apply yet.
Me: Once he figures out what about neuro that he likes, it’ll be easier to narrow down the choices. Cognitive, ev-bio, comparative ..
Mom: I’ve noticed that you two have very similar interests.
Me: We are your kids.
Dad: That’s right! [...]
Me: Finally back in Boston. Let’s get dinner.
Byrnes: Unfortunately the only food we can get at this hour is pizza or hot dogs.
Me: Sweetie, you know that I’m always up for some late night hot juicy sausage.
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